PRACTICING COMPASSION
This is how I emulate being a Buddha. According to Buddhism the most spiritually advanced way to interact with other people is with Compassion. Compassion, like meditation, is also a discipline that can be practiced in order to free ourselves from the turbulent psychological pollution that is separating us from fully experiencing the here and now of each present moment of life. Compassion has to do with how we respond to the people that we come into contact with. To practice Compassion I simply try and respond to others without being influenced by the self-concern that arises from a mistaken core belief that I am fundamentally flawed. According to Buddhist psychology when I side step that self-concern my responses to others will automatically be Compassionate. They will be responses that serve others. This is because in the absence of self-concern my natural attitude towards others is one of service: a spontaneous, balanced 'how can I help' sort of attitude.
In terms of technique, I side step self-concern by taking the Buddhist stand discovered in my sitting meditation practice, the stand that I am already profoundly and completely ok and that I do not need anything more to complete myself. When I take this stand when I'm with others I then have no reason to struggle to get something out of that interaction. When I stop struggling to get something out of my interaction with others I stop filtering my view of those people through the distortion field created by my concern about: "How will this person enhance me or diminish me?" Instead, I begin to more fully See them as they actually are and this Seeing goes much deeper than usual, transforming my understanding of what's there before me. How I go about actually helping them is then also be based upon that heightened sense of Seeing them.
It's become clear to me that this enhanced Seeing is not my normal way of seeing. For seeing to truly become Seeing there has been a change in the way that I look at the other person and what's going on there. Again, this difference is characterized by an absence of self-concern. In true Seeing I am not looking for an angle that will somehow or in some way support me. In true Seeing I am not concerned with how he or she will impact upon my sense of worth or my sense of self. Because I am not trying to see how I can get something from that particular person the view that I now have of that person and of the situation is much, much clearer. In addition, when I am not preoccupied with self-concern I immediately recognize how I can be of service in the context of that particular moment. This ability to read of the context of a given situation is a very important facet of Seeing. I must be able to accurately assess if there is truly any opportunity to help, given what's going on and the nature of my relationship with that person. Then, when I do see an opportunity to help, no matter how small, since I am not preoccupied with self-centered issues I spontaneously respond in a truly helpful fashion.
The way I begin to practice Compassion is by consciously entering each social interaction without any particular need to get something out of that situation. I make a point to not use the situation to try and make me feel better about myself. Then later, midstream in a situation, if I notice that I actually am wrapped up in trying to get something out of the interaction I will consciously work to let go of that self-concern right then and there. I do this by decisively stopping judging whatever or whomever I am judging and instead just look at what is there with a completely unbiased mirror-like awareness. I know that I have released the need-to-get-something when I am no longer tense and anxious and instead am aware of the here and now moment which feels peaceful, calm and clear. And once I am clear I then see how to respond with Compassion.
In order to improve our Compassionate responses to various situations Buddhism offers a number of training modules (see below) that can be used as dictated by the unique needs of each different circumstance that we find ourselves in. By practicing these modules we can gradually displace our usual judgment driven, robot-like responses to other people and actualize an effective, powerful Compassion instead. This training can be integrated into how we respond to individual people or to groups of individuals such as families, the workplace or even complete cultures.
Even though practicing these training modules felt a bit forced or unfamiliar at first, by substituting them for my usual self-concerned reactions to others I have been able to gradually but steadily actualize the truth of my Compassion for others. There are ten of these training modules and they each flow from a single act of conscious discipline: I approach every situation involving other people without having a need to get something out of my interaction with them.
By not needing to "get" from others I free myself from robotic, historical self-centered concerns.
By freeing myself from self-centered concerns I no longer have a context from which to judge others.
By not judging them I can now clearly See that the people I'm interacting with are completely trapped by
a mistaken belief that they're fundamentally flawed and this core belief influences everything they say and do.
When I clearly See that this is so I am naturally drawn to respond in one of the following ten ways.
Module 1. The Kindness Response: As long as people mistakenly believe that they are flawed they will suffer. Freeing myself from self-centered concerns I can See this suffering myself and so I am inspired to act gently and with authentic concern for their well being. In this way I practice generous compassion. I this way I practice being kind.
Module 2. The Strength Response: As long as people mistakenly believe that they are flawed they will sometimes try to influence me to compromise myself in order to somehow prop up their sense of worth. Freeing myself from self-centered concerns I can See that if I bow to such pressure I will actually reinforce their mistaken self-concept and so I firmly remain unmoved by such manipulations. In this way I practice unshakable compassion. In this way I practice being strong.
Module 3. The Patience Response: As long as people mistakenly believe that they are flawed their behavior will be skewed by that belief. Freeing myself from self-centered concerns I can See how trapped and influenced they are by that belief and so I naturally expect inappropriate behavior to occur and consequently I'm not be surprised, agitated or put off by such behavior no matter what they do. In this way I practice accomodating compassion. In this way I practice being patient.
Module 4. The Energetic Response: As long as people mistakenly believe that they are flawed they will want to draw me into the energy vortex of their current dramas. Freeing myself from self-centered concerns I can See the delusional nature of that drama and so I choose instead to remain centered and connected to my own flow of inspiration-enthusiasm-energy which then guides my involvement with the particulars of their situation. In this way I practice influential compassion. In this way I practice being energetic.
Module 5. The Clarity Response: As long as people mistakenly believe that they are flawed they will create delusional ideas about various things. Freeing myself from self-centered concerns I can See the judgment created inaccuracy of those ideas and so instead I share with them my unprejudiced point of view. In this way I practice truth sharing compassion. In this way I practice being clear.
Module 6. The Wisdom Response: As long as people mistakenly believe that they are flawed they will not be able to be who they truly are. Freeing myself from self-centered concerns I can See that this is so and as such I am able to understand the exact nature of their suffering, the cause of that suffering, what needs to be done to stop it and how they need to go about doing so. In this way I practice knowledgeable compassion. In this way I practice being wise.
Module 7. The Skillful Ingenuity Response: As long as people mistakenly believe that they are flawed they will not be able to look very far outside of the box created by their judgmentally distorted view of things. Freeing myself from self-centered concerns I can See this limitation and so I spontaneously try to bridge the gap creatively by using the language and the context of those distorted points of view in order to help people understand their situation and what they can do about it. In this way I practice creative compassion. In this way I practice being skillful.
Module 8. The Outcome-Focus Response: Even though people mistakenly believe that they are flawed the serene presence of their real Self is right there hidden behind the turmoil caused by that belief. Freeing myself from self-centered concerns I can See both the mistake and the reality and so I spontaneously recognize how doable it is for them to actualize that already existing true Self. In this way I practice optimistic compassion. In this way I practice being outcome focused.
Module 9. The Empowerment Response: Even though people are trapped by the mistaken belief that they are flawed, each one is nevertheless completely responsible for his or her own deliverance from that skewed point of view. Freeing myself from self-centered concerns I can See that it's not my job to 'fix' them and so instead I spontaneously try to help them free themselves. In this way I practice effective compassion. In this way I practice being empowering.
Module 10. The Transcendence Response: As long as people mistakenly believe that they are flawed they will try to pin me down to a fixed role of some sort in order to be able to properly judge me and thereby know how to use me to compensate for that mistaken lack of worth. Freeing myself from self-centered concerns I can See that allowing myself to be pinned down like that will only serve to reinforce the delusional view that others have of themselves and so I make sure to not identify myself with any any role whatsoever. I stay free from any such imprisoning entanglements by remaining a formless and changeable cloud of creative compassionate energy guided solely by intuition. In this way I practice free flowing compassion. In this way I practice being transcendent.
TO SUMMARIZE: The way I practice these Compassionate Responses is to first notice and then let go of any judgements or self-centered concerns that arise in my mind as a result of my interaction with others. Then, the resulting inner serenity allows a much deeper Seeing into each social situation. As that Seeing emerges into the moment I become aware of which Response to employ in order to deal with the situation in a precise, compassionate way.
Through regularly applying myself to this kind of disciplined practice the ten Responses have gradually begun to flow more and more naturally from me and there is less and less a sense of someone being there and doing "a technique". Instead, the ten Responses are becoming a spontaneous expression of spiritual leadership that arises from simply being connected to the Nowness of each interpersonal situation. This is how I emulate being a Buddha.
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